Notes From Wonderland

i think “what if” very seriously about several boys in my life.

one is a very close friend.

one is the boy i had a crush on in 9th grade.

one is just totally in love with me.

one is the first boy i ever thought i’d marry.

tonight my mind is especially feverish with such thoughts. 

I am an idiot. Stop letting me love you, please… You’re killing me. I’ve been trying so hard too move on, and then you come crashing back in again. You suck me in, and for a split second I think it’ll be okay. But it’s not, and it never will be.. I’m fine until you pull me in and make me love you. Set me free if you don’t love me anymore.